Forgave my controlling/abusive family , But now it just feels strange ?

Question by : Forgave my controlling/abusive family , But now it just feels strange ?
I am 28 years old. I got the hell out of a highly dysfunctional family about 2 years ago and drove 2,000 miles out of state to the south. When I say Highly , I mean highly. My father is a racist. Never respected anyone, Don’t appreciate or thanks anyone. Always acts like a kid . Expects me to care for him (Still) after years and years of physical/emotional trauma which I am working through.
My mother always try to get the family members against each other and use words to get them to have a animosity against each other , mainly through comparisons after comparisons.
My brother , although tried to help me when i lost my job , is still a very inconsiderate and disrespectful guy. He looks down on me, talks to me like I am nothing if things doesn’t go his way. I can see his future already. The same cycle that goes on with my parents x 10.

I spend my middle school days and high school days in terror of these people. I spend most of my college years in isolation and deep depression, until I started reading up on materials on abuse and how it cripples a human being. Now I am better , Not completely, But I am getting there. I am starting to make some few healthy friends and I am in control of my addictions.(most of it atleast)

Recently , Since I started talking to my parents ,My brother has been helping me with a computer job and I thought Oh that’s nice he wants to help me. But I think it was a big mistake on my part because it seems like , He’s more like doing things to look good infront of other people than really trying to help me.

Here’s an example : My brother flew me in to NY for an interview. I went along with it because I thought Ok, I guess he really wants to help. When i got here, I talked to my cousin about setting up a “mock interview” . My brother came to find out about this and confronted me like in a attacking manner which brought me back memories . He started asking me questions like – ” Why did you set up an interview with him, He’s not technical , He’s only business( I told him , yea I know that ) but he kept on interrogating me as if I am some kind of idiot who doesn’t know difference between A and Z. Also another thing that caught my attention was when he said ” if you let him help you, he’s gonna keep talking about it all his life” and also how everything was HIS IDEA( my bros) .
I was like WTF! So it is all about control then. am I wrong to think that??

The return date is November 20th. Should I get the hell back before that? Because I don’t feel comfortable here . My insenstive father ( who tried to kill me 2 years ago and I took him to court)
is giving me cold shoulders and getting mad ( literally ) why I don’t call him every day! It’s the twilight zone here!

What the hell was I thinking when I forgave them ? I am upset because I have a set a new standard for my life , altogether. I want to be around ” healthy ” people and want to lead a highly healthy life for the rest of my life. With my parents in my life, I hate to say this, I don’t see that happening. No I am serious. I know it sucks. But it’s just not happening. I don’t even want my kids to around these people.

What do I do ? I am sick of these people who suck the energy out of my life. ! !
Should I end this and go back ? Interview is supposed to be tommorow. I dn’t even feel like going for it anymore.

Best answer:

Answer by Katherine
no don’t do it. leave all of them behind and move on. those people don’t deserve another minute of your time. kudos to you!

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