19 Things You Should Never Do

1. Check your BlackBerry in bed. To a woman, that’s like having a threesome with your boss.

2. Ask for a kiss. Her eyes will say yes or no, and nothing kills the mood like asking for a translation.

3. Wear low-rise jeans. So what if David Beckham flashes his hash in every other men’s magazine? It’s important to have some sack, not show it.

4. Mess with another man’s automobile. We don’t care if he stole your wife, your job, and your dog. It’s blasphemy.

5. Send an angry e-mail. Have the huevos to pick up the phone or, better yet, have a téte-à-téte. Fireworks aren’t just for Independence Day.

6. Dismiss a woman who shows any interest in watching baseball with you. She wants you bad.

7. Snoop through her e-mail, closets, or medicine chest. There’s probably nothing there you need to worry about. But rest assured, you’ll find something you don’t want to see.

8. Keep a home-run ball hit by the opposing team. Or one hit by any player on the juice. We don’t care if it’s worth millions. Throw it back or you’re a traitor.

9. Forget an undershirt. Go ahead, let ‘em see you sweat. Just don’t let ‘em see sweat creeping out from your underarms like dark, foreboding tunnels to your moistened soul.

Author  Mens Health